365: DAY 12

DAY 12: 09.03.2020

     Today I am thankful for this little man right here. The little man we never thought we would/could have. Being told that if we ever wanted a baby we would need outside help, to a surprise pregnancy, and a heartbreaking call to tell us that something is wrong with our baby and that we should abort. I was in tears, everyone at the office was pushing us to abort, telling us "IT" will have a hard life, think about "IT"; I screamed, my child is not an "IT", he is alive, I have heard his heartbeat, I feel him kick, his name is Tiberius. I was panicking, crying so hard I could not breathe. Everyone in that office except for one person, the most amazing nurse I have ever met. Being in Texas, no family in sight, Abba, and I  felt so alone... She knew all of this, she looked at me and said, I am your Mom right now, cry to me, talk to me... Something along those lines, it has been years but her love and care have stuck with me always. She calmed me down, she told us no matter what, we would love our child, she informed us about amniocentesis and the risks, she was there by our side as we did the procedure, comforting me as I cried, and she was the one to call, first thing in the morning, before the office even opened, to tell us, our baby boy was going to be alright and the results were negative. She was so happy for us, she and I both cried and laughed together over the phone. I wish I knew her name, someone so special and important in our lives at that time and I can't remember her name.

This little man, who is not so little anymore, is almost 10, and such an amazing human being. He is smart as a whip, sometimes I have to ask him how to spell things. He loves fiercely, stubborn as a mule, hot-headed, and one of the hardest workers I know, just like his father. He loves taking Mixed Martial Arts, the instructor has even said, he wished he had more kids like him. Tiberius will talk your ears off if you let him, he loves Pokemon/ YU-GI-OH, watching nature documentaries before bed, and has a wild imagination, to help him sleep he does something called DSI, dream/sleep/ imagine. The things he comes up with astound me, at times when he is bored he will look out his window and start writing stories, he even wrote one about some spiders outside his window. He loves his Sisters, Ellie is his favorite, but every day and every night he prays for a brother. I keep trying to tell him, Mommy's body is not working right anymore. I don't know if I ever could give him a brother, even if Daddy and I were to have another, there is a chance it could be another girl. His response, "That is okay, I would love her too, but I really want a brother.", so he just keeps on praying. I don't know if you call that stubbornness or faith, but I admire the drive, lol. I love you, little man, I am so thankful for you, each and every day. Keep being amazing my sweet boy, never let anything hold you back and I promise you, we will find you some friends, someway somehow. 

❤️