THE COMMON COLD AND A TODDLER IS A SANITY KILLER...

    The common cold and a toddler is a sanity killer in a large family. With Papa working 16 hours, third shift on the weekend life is exhausting right now. It started out with coughing and now has turned into runny noses, low-grade fevers, crying, fighting, and everyone is over it. Today I tried to make homemade throat lozenges, when I walked away for a minute to rest and let them settle the toddler had other ideas. I go down to check on her and I find my lozenges turned upside down on the floor, condensed sugar all over the floor, and no toddler. As I head down to the basement I find the furnace filter at the bottom of the floor, the towels that were folded are now no longer folded and everywhere, the furnace leaking and laundry that was by it soaking wet as well on the floor, oh and she took the baking soda out of the fridge down there and dumped it all over the floor. I get it, she does not feel well, Mommy does not feel well, no one feels well, but why can’t you just give Mommy a break? She does not want to eat but is hungry, she does not want to sleep but is tired.

I love being a Mommy, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I just wish I could get a break. Being a Mom and being sick sucks. Having a husband that works third shifts and you have no one to tag team with, sucks. Having all four kids sick at once, ranging from the ages of 6 to 7 months sucks. Feeling like you are failing at everything you do every day, sucks. Breastfeeding and wondering if your child is getting enough, sucks. Wondering if said breastfed baby is starting to fall behind in development or wondering if she is just doing things at her own pace, sucks. Wanting to give up on breastfeeding but your baby won’t let you, sucks. Having another child struggling to learn, sucks. Having a toddler that just will not listen and is so stubborn, sucks. Having postpartum depression and feeling like you have no one to talk to and no one understands you or what you are going through, sucks.

I know when I get older, I will look back on this time and miss it, but while living in it at this very moment, it feels more like a torture chamber. I never wanted this blog to turn into a boo hoo me fest but sometimes I just need a way to express myself and put it out there into the real world and not leave it all in my head.